Week one after my first advanced teacher training (TT) weekend and I get the energy to blog.
A week ago I sat in the opening circle and felt at home and lost. I am sure you are wondering, why? Well, I have spent the week wondering that as well. Not an intense session of drilling myself or having to “come up with” an answer, simply wondering. Asana, pranayama, meditation, journaling and reading all were main characters this week in my first act of this journey. I loved them all. Being in this bubble of yoga for a weekend and then being asked to smoothly transition to “the real world” is such an odd, rough and confusing period for me. I get so lost in the love of the weekend. Just the same as when I arrive on my mat or in my daily mediation. I am present. Ok, lets be real I am a Leo in a zen world just trying to arrive in the moment and every time can change, but my heart and life style are more and more aware. (It brings me the quiet I crave in life, I know shocking right?!)
So all that mix up brings me to the point. I love this life, this practice, this feeling and I have NO IDEA how to describe or share that to the outside world. How do you explain the best weekend ever to people who just think you did yoga all weekend? How do you describe a feeling of awareness that you can barely articulate yourself?
I want to share with people how yoga (the world of yoga) has benefited me, cared for me, expanded me and I am having such a hard time. When I teach it seems different, my students are open to explore and they brought themselves to their mat. It is not my responsibility to give more then a space for students to give themselves permission to explore mind, body, breath and beyond that it is in their hands.
Ok, so that thought seems easy, right?! What about when it is someone you love and spend your life with, partner, family, friends? What if you want them to know why you do it? What if you want them to know how? What if you want them to share it with you?
Think, think, think…as Winnie the Pooh would say. Well, all I have come to is that they do not have to understand it is not their path or their dream. Whether that answer is ok with me or not…I am learning.